The Skill That Makes Life Abroad Easier (And Almost No One Talks About It)

When people start thinking about moving abroad, most of the conversations focus on practical things like healthcare systems, transportation, cost of living, visa requirements, and where to connect with other expats.

All of those things matter, of course. They help you understand how daily life might function in another country. But after living abroad for many years, I’ve come to believe that another skill matters just as much as logistical preparation: your ability to pivot.

Life abroad has a way of testing that ability again and again. Plans shift and expectations change. What once seemed straightforward becomes more complicated.

The people who adapt most easily are not always the ones who planned the most carefully. They’re often the ones who can adjust direction without losing sight of what matters most to them.

Looking back at my own life, I realize that learning how to pivot started long before I ever moved overseas.

In 1995, when I was a junior in college, I was involved in a head-on collision with a semi-tractor trailer. It was the kind of accident that interrupts the life you thought you were building.

At the time, I had my sights set on a career with the FBI. I was studying sociology, psychology, and criminal justice, and preparing for the physical requirements that would eventually be necessary to become an agent. The injuries from that accident changed things, however. Running, which had once been effortless, was no longer something my body could reliably do. In a matter of moments, the path I had been working toward disappeared.

At first, it felt like everything had been taken away from me. I had spent years preparing for a specific goal, only to realize that my body would no longer cooperate with that plan. But after the initial shock settled, I started asking a different question.

If I couldn’t help people through law enforcement, maybe I could help them heal.

That thought led me toward medicine. Upon my return to my university studies, I became a pre-med student and began preparing for a future in healthcare. For a while, that path made sense. I could see the next steps clearly and I was willing to put in the work required to get there.

Then life surprised me again.

In 1998, when the internet was still new and most people were just beginning to explore what it could be used for, I met the man who would later become my husband. We met in an online chat room, which at the time felt less like a dating tool and more like a strange new window into the wider world. People logged in simply to talk to strangers from other countries and compare notes about how life worked in different places.

We weren’t looking for anything romantic. At first it was just conversation and curiosity. But over time our connection deepened, and it slowly became clear that my future might eventually involve moving to France.

That realization created another crossroads.

Medical school in the United States meant years of study and a significant amount of debt. Taking on that level of financial commitment didn’t make much sense if I was likely to relocate overseas in the near future.

So once again, I pivoted. Not because I lacked determination, but because the context had changed.

Moving to France brought its own set of adjustments. Anyone who has navigated French bureaucracy knows it can test your patience in ways you never expected. There’s paperwork, appointments, requests for additional documents, and long waiting periods. Plans didn’t always unfold the way I thought they would.

Over time, though, I learned something important about living abroad: the ability to adapt is often more valuable than the ability to predict what will happen.

I enrolled at the Sorbonne to study French and eventually earned a degree in linguistics. That decision opened a door I hadn’t anticipated.

My first job in France was at an international law firm. I started as an administrative assistant to the managing partner, helping bridge communication between English and French speakers. Eventually that role expanded. I was in charge of bilingual IT training for the firm’s legal staff, helping attorneys and employees navigate new systems in both languages. It wasn’t the career I had imagined when I was younger, but it was meaningful work that allowed me to grow professionally while building a life in another country.

Years later, another turning point arrived.

The financial crisis of 2008 created uncertainty in many industries, and it pushed me to reflect on what I wanted for the next chapter of my professional life. That reflection led to another pivot.

I went back to school to study copywriting and began working as a freelance creative copywriter. Eventually I joined an international advertising agency and spent more than a decade working on campaigns for one of the world’s largest beauty brands. For 12+ years, that work became a central part of my professional identity.

And then life shifted again.

After a period that included multiple surgeries, a long recovery, the COVID lockdowns, a divorce, and an exhausting corporate burnout, I found myself asking new questions about what I wanted moving forward.

It wasn’t a decision that happened overnight, though. I took a sabbatical year to rest and regain perspective, something that felt both necessary and unfamiliar after so many years of constant activity.

During that time, something interesting resurfaced.

The original desire that had once led me toward law enforcement and medicine — the desire to help people — was still there. It had simply been waiting for a new form.

That realization led me to enroll in the Integrative Wellness Academy, where I trained as an Integrative Wellness and Life Transition coach.

Today, my work brings together many parts of my life experience: the years spent navigating life abroad, the professional transitions I’ve lived through, and the certifications I’ve received in life coaching and wellness.

Helping people who are moving abroad and adjusting to life abroad feels like a natural continuation of the path I started exploring many years ago.

When I look back at the different chapters of my life, a pattern becomes clear: each major transition required a pivot. Not an all-out reinvention, but a shift in direction that allowed me to keep moving forward when the original plans I had no longer fit.

This is one of the reasons I often encourage people who are considering a move abroad to think about something beyond logistics. Researching healthcare systems, transportation networks, and visa rules is important; those details shape the practical side of daily life. But there is another layer that matters just as much: your internal flexibility.

Living abroad has a way of confronting you with situations you cannot fully anticipate. Expectations don’t always live up to reality. Systems function differently than you assumed they would. Opportunities appear where you didn’t think to look, while other plans might easily be tossed out the window.

Preparation helps, but it doesn’t eliminate uncertainty.

What helps more is the ability to recalibrate your inner compass: to ask new questions, and to adjust direction while staying connected to the deeper motivations that brought you abroad in the first place.

In many ways, resilience shows up as the willingness to pivot, when life changes direction or unfolds in a way that requires a different response.

Some of the most fulfilled people I know living abroad are not the ones whose plans unfolded exactly as expected. They are the ones who learned to adapt and stayed curious. The ones who allowed their lives to evolve alongside the places they chose to call home.

Looking back now, I can see that every pivot in my life carried something valuable forward. The desire to help others never disappeared; it simply changed shape as my circumstances changed.

And perhaps that’s one of the deeper lessons that life abroad teaches: you don’t have to have everything perfectly mapped out in order to build a meaningful life in another country.

What matters more is your willingness to adjust when the road bends, because sometimes the life you end up building isn’t the one you originally planned.

It’s the one that slowly takes shape as you learn to pivot, again and again, toward the direction that feels most aligned with who you are becoming.

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Life abroad rarely unfolds exactly the way we imagine. Learning how to pivot is often part of the journey.

If you’d like thoughtful insights and practical perspective as you navigate your own life abroad, you can follow Thrive on Through on Facebook & Instagram, where I share daily support for expats and immigrants adjusting to life overseas.

I’m also preparing a 21-part video series about life abroad, designed for those moments when things don’t go according to plan. If you’d like to be the first to hear when it launches, staying connected there is the best way to find out.