Expat Exhaustion: Why Daily Life Abroad Wipes You Out (and How to Rebuild Your Energy)
- thriveonthrough
- Oct 6
- 5 min read
When I think back to my first year abroad, I don’t just remember the excitement of new streets and fresh discoveries. I remember being tired. All. The. Time.
Most weekdays were a blur of French classes: five hours a day, five days a week, memorizing verb conjugations and stumbling through conversations. By the end of each lesson, my head felt overstuffed, like a balloon ready to pop, but my energy was gone. Then came the metro, the suburban train, the bus ride home. By the time I got back to my apartment, I wasn’t just tired. I was done.
That exhaustion wasn’t about laziness or lack of fitness. It was the cost of living in another country, another language, another rhythm. And if you’ve felt the same bone-deep fatigue as an expat, let me reassure you: you’re not alone.
The Weight You Don’t Notice Until It’s Too Heavy
From the outside, expat life looks enviable. Friends back home imagine you sipping wine in cafés, strolling cobblestone streets, and dashing off on weekend trips. And sure, there are days like that. But what no one tells you is that the everyday parts of life — groceries, errands, phone calls — can feel twice as heavy abroad.
It’s dragging yourself home after buying a loaf of bread and wondering why it felt like a marathon. It’s staring at a stack of forms you don’t understand, heart racing before you even pick up the pen. It’s collapsing on the couch after a day that looks ordinary on paper, but somehow left you completely drained.
Life abroad just seems to weigh you down more. Not because you’re weak, but because your whole system — mind, body, emotions — is working overtime.
Why It Drains You So Deeply
Exhaustion abroad isn’t “in your head.” It’s written into your biology.
Your mind is on constant overdrive, translating language, reading cultural cues, planning for the unexpected. Even simple errands open fifty mental tabs you can’t close.
Your emotions are working just as hard. Self-doubt, frustration, and guilt can bubble up in the background: Am I doing this right? Shouldn’t I be used to this by now? Why does this still feel so hard?
And your body is in survival mode. New environments keep your nervous system slightly on edge: muscles tensed, sleep less restorative, energy never quite refilling. It’s like running a daily marathon with no finish line in sight.
The Spiral No One Talks About
And then comes the guilt. You might catch yourself thinking:“I chose this life…why can’t I enjoy it?”“Other people seem to manage fine. What’s wrong with me?”“If I’m this drained by groceries, how will I ever handle the real challenges that arise?”
That guilt doubles the weight you’re carrying. Instead of giving yourself credit for surviving a hard adjustment, you criticize yourself for not thriving instantly. And that spiral of exhaustion and guilt can quietly become its own expat reality.
When Tired Becomes the New Normal
Most of us do what we’ve always done: we keep going. We push through, hoping that eventually the fatigue will ease and life abroad will finally feel “normal.” And sometimes it does. But often, it takes far longer than we expected.
I see it all the time: weeks turn into months, and the exhaustion just…sticks. Joy fades. Irritability creeps in. Resentment builds…sometimes toward the country itself, sometimes toward a partner, sometimes even toward yourself. Slowly, the life you once dreamed about starts to feel like a weight you’re carrying instead of an adventure you’re living.
It’s not that you can’t make it through on your own. You can. But it often means years of trial and error, with a lot of unnecessary distress along the way.
Listening to Exhaustion as a Signal
The truth is, exhaustion isn’t proof that you’re failing at expat life. It’s a signal. It’s your body’s way of saying: “This is a lot. Please slow down. Please support me.”
And once you treat it that way, things begin to shift. Instead of berating yourself for being tired, you can start creating routines and rituals that actually restore you.
That might look like:
Resting without guilt. Remembering that expat life is its own endurance sport (and endurance always requires recovery days!).
Adding grounding rituals. A cup of tea after errands, a short walk, even a candle at night can tell your nervous system: you’re safe now, you can let go.
Lightening the load. Choosing one errand a day instead of three, spacing out bureaucracy instead of attacking it all at once.
Sprinkling in small joys. Because laughter, connection, and pleasure refill your tank faster than willpower ever could.
Why Coaching Helps You Shorten the Struggle
You could piece this together on your own, over months of trial and error. Many expats do. But the emotional cost can be high: lost time, frayed relationships, missed opportunities to feel grounded where you are.
Coaching offers a different path: one that shortens the struggle and gives you the tools to create balance sooner. Because expat exhaustion isn’t just about being tired; it touches every system in your life.
That’s why in my coaching, I support clients across four dimensions at once:
Mental: softening the “I should be coping better” loop.
Emotional: building resilience so guilt doesn’t drain you further.
Physical: calming your nervous system and restoring energy.
Spiritual: reconnecting with purpose so daily life feels meaningful again.
When you strengthen all four, the weight of life abroad feels lighter…and you stop living in survival mode.
The Encouragement Every Expat Needs
Here’s what I want you to take away: exhaustion abroad doesn’t mean you’re weak. It’s the result of having to handle a lot at once.
Your fatigue is feedback, not failure. It’s proof that you’re carrying more than most people ever will…and that you’ve been braver than you probably give yourself credit for.
So the next time you find yourself staring at groceries on the counter, too tired to put them away, pause. Breathe. Remind yourself: This is what growth looks like. This is how resilience is built.
And remember: while expat life will always stretch you, it doesn’t have to break you. With care, compassion, and the right support, you can find a steadier rhythm — one that lets you not only keep going, but actually enjoy the adventure you came here for.
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If you’d like support in finding that rhythm, I invite you to book a free 20-minute discovery call with me by clicking on the “Contact” menu tab. Together we’ll explore how you can restore your energy and thrive in your life abroad.
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