Six Months From Now: What Expats Often Wish They’d Thought About Sooner

January has a way of inviting reflection, especially when you live abroad.

As the calendar turns to a new year and emails slow down for a moment, there’s suddenly a little space to think. Not in the dramatic “new year, new me” sense, but in a more practical way. You start wondering what the months ahead might hold, and whether this year will feel different from the last one.

For those living abroad, that question can sometimes carry extra weight.

Some of you reading this may be counting down the weeks to a big move, feeling excited, nervous, and worried you’ve forgotten something. Others might have just arrived and are still riding that strange mix of adrenaline and exhaustion that comes with setting up life in a new country. And then there are those of you who have been abroad for some time: the kids are settled and the routines are in place, but something still feels missing.

All of these moments have one thing in common. They tend to show up at the start of a new year, when life pauses just long enough for the bigger questions to surface.

One question I like to ask my clients is “What would you like your life to look like, six months from now?"

Six months from now might feel abstract for some, but for expats it can be a helpful starting point to gain perspective. It’s close enough to feel real, and far enough away to allow for change. Thinking in six-month increments can reveal things you don’t always notice when you’re focused on daily logistics.

Before a move, six months feels like a countdown. After arrival, it can feel like a test. And once things have settled, it often becomes a checkpoint where people start asking themselves whether the life they’ve built actually feels like home.

Before the Move: The Anxious Imagining Stage

If you’re preparing to move abroad in the coming months, your mind is probably busy filling in the blanks. On the outside, you may look excited but on the inside, you might find yourself running through worst-case scenarios late at night. Will I cope with the language? Will I make friends? What if I feel isolated? What if this turns out to be harder than I expected?

This stage is often full of mental preparation, but very little emotional grounding.

A lot of future expats focus on what they need to avoid: things like culture shock, loneliness, making mistakes, and just generally feeling lost. It’s natural to focus on these but it can also create tension, as if you’re bracing yourself for impact rather than imagining what it might feel like to settle in.

Six months after arrival, many people look back and realize that the hardest parts weren’t the things they anticipated. It wasn’t the bureaucratic paperwork they feared, but the moments when they felt invisible at a crowded market. It wasn’t the language barrier, but the way their personality felt dulled when they couldn’t express themselves fully. It wasn’t the logistics, but the emotional energy required to rebuild themselves in a new environment.

If you’re in this pre-move phase, "six months from now" isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about feeling steady enough to arrive (even if nothing is permanent yet), being able to navigate daily life without constantly second-guessing yourself, and trusting that you can land somewhere new, live in the in-between for a while, and make adjustments as you go. It’s about realizing that certainty can come later, and that what you need first is enough steadiness to take the next step.

Acquiring that sense of inner steadiness matters more than perfection.

Just Arrived: When Excitement Meets Overwhelm

For those who have recently moved abroad, January can be a strange time. On the surface, you’ve done the big thing: you moved, you made it. But along with the excitement comes a significant amount of exhaustion.

Many new expats are surprised by how tiring the early months feel, even when nothing is “wrong.” Everything takes more effort: simple tasks require concentration, your nervous system is constantly alert, trying to make sense of unfamiliar cues. Even positive experiences can feel draining.

This is often when people start asking themselves what kind of life they actually want to build abroad.

At first, survival takes priority: just getting through the day, learning the basics, and managing logistics. But once the immediate chaos settles, a different question emerges. How do I want this to feel? Not just as an adventure, but as a life?

Six months from now, many people hope they’ll feel more grounded, less reactive, and more like “themselves”. They want to wake up without that constant feeling of being on alert, and have moments of ease (even if they don’t last long).

What some expats don’t realize is that feeling of ease doesn’t arrive all at once. It shows up in small ways over time: a conversation that flows more naturally, a place that feels familiar rather than confusing, a day that doesn’t feel like a performance.

These small things are easy to overlook, but they’re often the real markers of progress.

Past the Unpacking Stage: When the “Bigger” Questions Arise

Then there are the expats who are no longer new, but not quite settled either.

From the outside, things look stable. Work is underway, the kids are in school, and you generally know how to get things done. But on the inside, questions begin to form that are harder to articulate.

Is this enough? Is this what I want my life here to feel like? Have I been so focused on adapting that I forgot to check in with myself?

This stage is common after the first year or two abroad. The “honeymoon” is over: adrenaline fades, and what’s left is a more honest view of daily life. This is often when people notice subtle forms of dissatisfaction; it doesn't necessarily take the form of overwhelming unhappiness, but a sense that something could be more aligned.

Six months from now, many people in this stage hope to feel more connected, more grounded. Less like they’re living on the surface of their own experience. They might want deeper friendships, more meaningful routines, or simply a stronger sense of belonging.

These desires don’t always announce themselves loudly. They tend to show up as restlessness, boredom, or a vague sense of disconnection.

What Six Months Can Realistically Offer

One of the most helpful shifts expats can make is moving away from outcome-based thinking. Six months doesn’t need to result in fluency, a perfect social circle, or a fully realized sense of home.

What it can offer is movement.

In six months, you can feel more familiar with your surroundings. You can begin to trust yourself in this environment, and notice which parts of life abroad drain you, and which ones quietly support you. You can make small adjustments that compound over time.

Expat research consistently shows that adjustment is not linear. People cycle through phases of excitement, frustration, adaptation, and reevaluation. Knowing this doesn’t eliminate the discomfort, but it can reduce the self-judgment that often accompanies it.

When people look back after six months, what they often value most isn’t achievement. It’s the feeling of having found their footing: of being a little less lost, and of knowing where they stand.

Asking Better Questions

Rather than asking what you should accomplish in the next six months, it can be more useful to ask how you want to experience your life abroad.

Do you want to feel calmer in your body? More confident navigating daily interactions? Less lonely in the evenings? More connected to who you were before the move, and who you’re becoming now?

These questions don’t demand immediate answers; they simply create direction.

Expats who feel more settled over time are often the ones who give themselves permission to evolve. They allow their expectations to shift and stop measuring their experience against imagined timelines. They recognize that building a satisfying life abroad is less about checking off boxes and more about alignment.

A Different Way Forward

As this year begins, you don’t need a dramatic, fool-proof plan. You don’t need to reinvent yourself or overhaul your life. What often makes the biggest difference is clarity: about what matters to you now, in this season, in this place.

Six months from now, you might not feel fully at home, but you can feel more at ease, more oriented, and more connected to yourself within your life abroad.

And that is no small thing.

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A Gentle Invitation

Over the past 25+ years, I’ve seen how much it helps expats to step back and look at their lives from a slightly wider angle, in order to move beyond survival mode and begin shaping something more intentional.

I’m currently in the process of creating a program designed to help expats reflect on where they are now and map out what a more satisfying, grounded life abroad could look like over the months ahead. Not as a rigid plan, but as a flexible blueprint that supports real life.

If this article sparked reflection for you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. You’re welcome to leave a comment, share where you find yourself right now, or follow me on Facebook if you’d like to be among the first to hear when the program launches.

Wherever you are on your expat journey, “six months from now” is closer than it seems. And the small, thoughtful steps taken now can shape that future in ways that feel both grounded and hopeful.