The Expat FOMO Diaries: When Life Back Home Keeps Happening Without You

thriveonthrough
Jun 9
3 min read

It’s time we talked about that thing that every expat has to navigate at some point during their time abroad: Expat FOMO. You know, that pang in your chest when you’re scrolling through your feed and see everyone back home posting boomerangs from a cousin’s wedding, selfies at Grandma’s 90th birthday, or photos of the annual Thanksgiving feast—with five kinds of pie and your chair noticeably empty.

Meanwhile, you're on the other side of the world…possibly eating toast in your pajamas, translating your utility bill with Google Lens, or trying to figure out how to say “emergency plumber” in a language you still barely speak.

It’s not that we don’t love our lives abroad. We do. We chose this life. We’re growing, thriving, exploring. But let’s be honest—sometimes it stings to be missing out on moments that used to be part of our world.

The Emotional Whiplash of Expat Life

One moment you're sipping wine under the Tuscan sun, and the next you’re crying in your kitchen because your niece just blew out her birthday candles without you there to sing “Happy Birthday” off-key.

It’s emotional whiplash. And it’s real.

The hard truth? Living abroad often means saying yes to one beautiful thing and no to another. It's part of the emotional fine print no one tells you about when you're applying for a visa or daydreaming about cobblestone streets.

The Illusion of Being Left Out

Let’s also acknowledge this: social media is a highlight reel. You’re seeing the best 1% of someone’s day—the champagne toast, the dance floor twirls, the family photo where no one blinked. You're not seeing the sibling drama, the stress over who was (or wasn’t) invited, or the fact that Aunt Linda brought her signature soggy salad again.

That party may look perfect, but real life is still happening there, too. Just like it is for you.

From FOMO to JOMO (Joy of Missing Out)

Here’s what I’ve learned after 25 years abroad: those feelings of FOMO don’t disappear, but they do become easier to hold with grace.

You start to realize that just because you’re not there, doesn’t mean you’re not part of it. Your connection to your people isn’t defined by proximity. It’s defined by intention. By showing up in the ways you can—calls, care packages, FaceTime wine dates, or planning that long-awaited visit.

And here's the kicker: while you're missing out on things back home, your friends and family are probably looking at your life with a little FOMO too. You're building something bold and brave. You're showing what's possible. That matters, too.

So What Can You Do?

Acknowledge it. Pretending you don’t care doesn’t help. You’re allowed to feel all the feels.
Create your own traditions. Make new rituals that bring comfort and joy where you are.
Reach out. Send a message, schedule a call, let people know you miss them. That connection goes both ways.
Celebrate where you are. Even if it’s just cake for one—celebrate. Your life deserves a little confetti, too.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re feeling that quiet ache of missing out right now, take a deep breath. You’re not the only one skipping the family barbecue for a FaceTime call with dodgy Wi-Fi. This is the weird, wonderful, and sometimes lonely price of living a global life. And it’s okay to feel the tug of both worlds.

You’re building something incredible—and that takes courage. So remember: you haven’t “lost” your people. You’re just learning how to love them from afar…while building a life that fits you.

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