What If This Doesn’t Work Out? Dealing with Fear as an Expat

You’ve made the leap.

Signed the lease.

Figured out (mostly) how to work the washing machine.

And yet—despite the brave face and the carefully curated posts from your local café—there’s a quiet (or sometimes not-so-quiet) whisper that haunts many expats, especially in those long, lonely moments:

“What if this doesn’t work out?”

If this is you, first of all: you're not alone.

Not even close.

The Fear You Don’t Post About

It doesn’t matter if you moved abroad for love, work, adventure, or escape—almost every expat hits that moment where the “what ifs” start creeping in.

• What if I never feel at home here?

• What if I can’t make this career/language/marriage/visa work?

• What if this was a giant mistake?

  
  

These thoughts don’t mean you’re failing.

They mean you’re human.

Moving abroad—whether across the world or one border over—isn’t just a change of scenery. It’s a full-body, full-soul transformation. And transformation is messy, confusing, and often laced with fear.

Naming the Fear = Reclaiming Your Power

One of the most powerful things you can do is say it out loud:

“I’m afraid this might not work.”

Say it. Write it. Whisper it to your coffee mug or shout it into your pillow if you need to.

Because the moment you name the fear, it shrinks. It becomes something you can sit with, talk to, and learn from—not something that controls you from the shadows.

And here’s something important to understand:

Fear isn’t weakness. It’s your nervous system doing its job.

Your body is wired to keep you safe—and stepping into a new life abroad can feel risky and unfamiliar, even if it’s what you wanted. Your brain reads change as danger, and fear shows up to try and protect you from the unknown.

But the good news is:

Feeling fear doesn’t mean you’re in danger—it means you’re growing.

You don’t have to push fear away. You can thank it for trying to help, and then gently remind it that you’ve got this.

Fear Doesn’t Mean You Made the Wrong Choice

We often interpret fear as a stop sign. But sometimes, it’s just a speed bump—a signal to slow down, reassess, and move forward more consciously.

Fear shows up when you care deeply.When you’ve invested in something that matters.

When you’re pushing beyond the known into a life that might just be more aligned—if you give it a little time.

It’s okay to miss home.

It’s okay to doubt yourself.

It’s okay to change your mind—or recommit with new clarity.

So, What Can You Do?

Here are a few small, grounding steps when fear comes knocking:

• Talk it out – Find someone who gets it (a coach, a friend, a fellow expat). Sharing your fears out loud helps you process and reframe them.

• Make a “proof list” – Write down all the things you’ve navigated so far, big or small. You’re more capable than fear lets you believe.

• Ask better questions – Instead of “What if this doesn’t work?” try “What would it look like if this did work?” or “What do I need right now to feel a little more grounded?”

• Stay curious – Fear wants you to shut down. Curiosity invites you to explore. And that’s where the magic lives.

You’re Not Behind. You’re Becoming.

Here’s the truth: No one moves abroad and gets it all “right” the first time.

There is no “behind” on this journey. There’s only becoming.

Becoming more resilient.

More self-aware.

More compassionate with yourself and others.

You’re not here to perform a perfect expat life—you’re here to live it, in all its gorgeous, gritty reality.

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If You Need Support, I’m Here.

If this post hit close to home—if you're carrying the weight of uncertainty and wondering if you're “doing it wrong”—please know that you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

This is exactly the kind of terrain I help expats navigate every day in my coaching practice.

If you’d like to explore what support could look like for you, feel free to book a free discovery call.

No pressure. No expectations. Just a chance to talk about what’s going on and where you’d like to go from here.

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Because even the bravest expats need a little backup sometimes.